Dating boyfriend with aspergers
If you're a neurotypical person dating an autistic person, it's a good idea to educate yourself on how an aspie will act in various relationship situation, or you might get offended by his/her seemingly cold attitude.
There is a universality to the suffering captured in “Aspie Seeks Love,” a new documentary by Julie Sokolow that premiered at Cinequest over the weekend.
I no longer need him to show it with physical attention. There’s a common misconception that people with AS have severe social anxiety or just plain ol’ don’t like to socialize. It’s not healthy in a conventional relationship, and when you’re a woman dating someone with AS, it’s crucial to be able to communicate your needs. Back in October, my boyfriend and I were hanging out on campus with friends.
If I wear short dresses and skirts, it’s because it’s kind of fun (and freeing! He hadn’t paid very much attention to me that day and I was sort of hoping he would because I had just gotten off of work.
So now, when I do need something from my boyfriend, I make sure not only to ask for it, but to be specific as to what it is I need. It’s much more polite to wait until something is offered, anyway. It’s well-meaning advice, but it’s NOT practical by any means.
One of the first things I noticed about my boyfriend was that he wasn’t all that interested in physical displays of affection. Based on some of my previous relationships (and certain societal cues) I came to the conclusion that my level of attractiveness is based on how much a man is willing to touch me.
Of course, I took the fact that my boyfriend didn’t want to kiss me as a huge blow to my ego.
I would even dress provocatively with the hope it would get me attention.
When we first started dating, it crossed my mind, but I figured, “Well, the guy I dated in high school had AS and he treated me like a princess.
The only reason we broke up is because I can’t function in a long distance relationship.
While my boyfriend and I are not married yet, I hope someday we can be.